Contents of My Broken Dreams
by THE.CAPSLOCK.QUEEN
Summary: He gazed at the pink vial intently. It was the moment of truth. Now, did he take it and test the facts or did he walk away and let her go forever? Past LillyxSnape. Another Snape and Harry family story, sigh.
1. Preface

**Author's Starting Notes:** They say the world is your oyster to motivate you, but what if you're allergic to oysters? (Long pause) Moving right along, I've begun a Harry Potter story, but you can probably see that by the fact that I put on a story on the Harry Potter page, whatever. Well, this story is written by myself (as shocking as that is) but the original idea is not mine, I got the idea from another person and after talking to them, I was allowed to use the idea. I feel happy now because I have written something that I do believe fits perfectly… okay, well, not really, but it's still an interesting way to start a story. This will be full-length and the title is subject to change. If you have any ideas for the title, I'll accept them because I'm not sure how well the title I gave it fits...

Dedication: angelinvestigationsfan. Thanks for letting me use the idea

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**Summary:** He gazed at the pink vial intently. It was the moment of truth. Now, did he take it and test the facts or did he walk away and let her go forever? Past LillyxSnape

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**Preface:**

_Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock._

Again and again the blasted clock went on. Being an ancient muggle device, it only made two sounds, one of which was tick and the other was tock. The stupid thing was not connected to the wall, nor did it work on batteries. It was very annoying and the man who owned the clock was sick of it. But he couldn't get rid of it, because it was nearly indestructible. It was indestructible because the clock, the small primitive thing that it was, was symbolic of a never-ending cycle called love. As long as the heart of the man in love shall beat, the clock shall tick. It was given to the man when he was but a boy but even at that age the clock was starting to buzz. It had made noise for as long as the man could remember and _she_ was the reason why.

She was the reason he lived in the small shack, the reason he kept to himself, the reason he, Severus Snape, had never once let another human being get close. She was his reason for everything and she, sadly, was gone. A sigh escaped the man's lips as he thought back to the last time the two had spoken. It was a Tuesday and he couldn't exactly remember what happened before she got there but he certainly remembered afterwards.

_"You, Severus Snape, are the biggest and most idiotic nitwit I have ever had the misfortune to know"_

_"No, I do believe that'd be your little boyfriend"_

_"You know nothing about my relationships"_

_"You're right because you haven't spoken to me in years. Why now?"_

_"Because… because… uh, I hate you"_

She had stormed away not long after and that was the last time he'd ever see her. Well, not technically, that was the last time he'd see her alive, he did see her again after that, but it was no more pleasant than having your brain eaten out by a bloodthirsty leech. He inhaled a shaky breath and let it out with nearly as much difficulty as he continued to recount that evening. Everything he said and everything she said in response. He was tired just thinking about it, he always was. It was a very draining event and it was one he'd surely never forget.

A sudden sharp and pulsating pain attacked the man as he fought off a terrible, arctic chill. He knew what was happening and he rose from his seat in some kind of artificial anticipation. The room spun in and out, and in once more, as a new guest arrived. With eyes as cold and lifeless as a doll's, with skin as pale and ghastly as a ghost, and with a voice as chillingly mortifying as Death itself, the Dark Lord appeared.

"Severus," hissed the disgusting voice of Lord Voldemort as Snape sulkily raised his head to that of his master, "it is time"

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**Author's Ending Notes:** The official beginning to my story. So far, it's not the worst story in the world… right? I'm a little sensitive when it comes to my writing so if you're planning on telling me where to stick this story and what I should suck, kiss, and or do anything to in any way, please do it lightly.


	2. Chapter One

**Author's Starting Notes:** I can't say I was surprised with how the prologue went over with you guys. I also can't say this chapter was something I wrote quickly. I had written probably half this chapter before it even registered in my mind that I had an idea on my hands. Usually when I write, it's write something, revise once, ship it off. This time it was more of revising the half I had written, writing more, revising again, writing a bit more, deleting half of the crap I had written, and then finally, saying forget it and putting it in my document for updating. Hopefully, all that effort wasn't simply for nothing and this chapter will please my readers out there. I'm done talking now so you can go on with reading the first chapter to my little story.

[There is a lot of italicized writing as most of this chapter is a letter, just so you know

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**Summary:** He gazed at the pink vial intently. It was the moment of truth. Now, did he take it and test the facts or did he walk away and let her go forever? Past LilyxSnape

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**Chapter One: The Letter**

_ On October 31st, 1981, Lily and James Potter met their death. Their names were set in stone but, lucky for us, their secrets were not. It's been years since that devastating day when they left bringing He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named with them and leaving behind the Boy-Who-Lived, young Harry Potter. It seems that Lily didn't exactly bury all her secrets with her. New facts have surfaced and everyone is just dying to know. But we've got the answers to the questions you've been asking. Like, what became of that muggle sister of hers, why she never once went to a Quiditch match, and what she was really doing with Hogwarts Professor, Severus Snape, for all those years. Turn to page ten for more information about Lily Potter's many hidden truths._

With a loud smack, the _Daily Prophet_ hit the hard ground of the deserted cottage. It was clearly thrown down in anger but that was nothing new, it was the _Prophet_._The Daily Prophet_ was the number one source of information for wizards and witches alike all over London. The Ministry of Magic, the head government for the wizarding world, was in charge of that lovely newspaper, and, as of late, the editors had taken a liking to talking about Harry Potter and everything related including his parents, the school, the Triwizard cup, and the Dark Lord himself. Ever since Harry's odd return, all anyone talked about was Harry Potter this and Harry Potter that. Honestly speaking, after four years of it, Severus Snape was, to say the least, fed up. What had the boy done that had been so special? All he had was dumb luck and, once that ran out, as far as Snape was concerned, he was sure to end up the same as his disgusting father.

Dead.

Snape emitted a dull and evidently tiresome grunt as he flicked his wrist, effectively retrieving something to quench his growing thirst. Tossing back his head, he emptied the glass, and his mind. He looked to the paper with a look quite similar to hatred. He already had to deal with Harry during the school year. Did he really need to hear about him during his break? And why did they have to bring _her_ into the equation? He could deal with Potter, he could deal with Voldemort, but he certainly couldn't deal with Lily. Not now anyways.

A loud knocking boomed throughout the cottage as a person arrived at the door. Not used to visitors who didn't just appear before him, Snape studied the entrance. Who would knock on his door? Or more importantly, who would even be near Spinner's End? He couldn't ponder his questions long as the knocking continued, although this time they were accompanied by a voice.

"Look, if you're in there, open up, I ain't got all day," rang the irritable deliveryman. Snape rose from his seat and walked over to the door flinging it open and snatching the package from the man before he could even speak again. With another wave of his wand, the door closed and the locks bolted shut. Snape sat down and took the next few moments to stare at the box blankly. It looked old and tattered and had more stamps on it than Dumbledore had gray hairs. But it wasn't the millions of stamps that made him stare. What made him stare was who had sent it.

"No, it's not possible," he whispered, "You're dead. You can't send me packages from the grave. No one can. This is a joke. A hoax. A prank. It has to be… doesn't it?"

Snape went on arguing with himself about whether he should open the package, or not, for far over an hour. Part of him told him to open it, that part was his hopeful side. The other part of him, his rational side, wanted him to chug it in the trash with the rest of his life. It was obvious that it could not be authentic. No one could come back from the dead. Well, one person sort of did... but that was only part of some childhood fairy tale. It wasn't true. And the package before him couldn't possibly be anything but a prank. And if it truly were only a prank, he'd just have to figure out who would stoop to such levels. It couldn't be too hard, it was probably just from the Weasley boys again. After all, his students from Hogwarts had been sending prank packages to him for ages. Why just the other day someone sent him a mighty fine gift.

THREE WEEKS PRIOR- Snape Residence

Cursing under his breath, Snape walked over to the door. He flung it open and noticed on the ground was a package. He lifted it up and brought it into the house. He opened it and a giant puff of smoke erupted from inside. By the time the smoke had cleared, Snape was completely covered in some kind of pink substance, much like the rest of the room. After nearly three hours of scrubbing, rubbing, and more cursing, Snape accepted the fact that he now had to burn practically everything in his home. There was no way he could keep it. What self respecting potions master would have a hot pink couch? Certainly not Snape.

As he looked at the package, once more, he noticed something he had overlooked the first time, a small symbol with two smiling redheads winking at him.

"Weasley!" Snape yelled, his fists clenching tightly.

PRESENT DAY- Snape Residence

Disregarding his most recent delivery as nothing but a silly joke, Snape tossed it carelessly onto the ground and went on with his business. Ten days passed before the professor finally opened the mysterious package. But not before putting a few protection charms on himself.

Ever so slowly, he sliced the box open. Peering inside, he saw three items and three items only. There was a ring, a small container that looked locked, and an envelope with his name printed down in the fancy, slanted scrawl he recognized to be that of his deceased beloved. Just looking at her handwriting startled him beyond belief. It was only natural, then, that he tried to open the small container and even looked over the golden wedding band before even considering opening the envelope. He tried to postpone it, but eventually he'd have to open the letter. And when he did, he was greeted with a bunch of pages all holding that same lovely print, and a key, which he guessed went to the box. He grabbed the pages and flipped through seeing nearly twenty different dates all going closer and closer to the real date as he went further back. The exception to this rule of thumb was the first few pages, which were dated August 1980. He went back to the front of the packet and began reading and as he read, he could have sworn he heard her voice once more.

_ Dearest Severus,_

_ It has been many a year since last we spoke and I regret the note in which we left. I told you I had nothing more to say to you but truth is, I had plenty to say to you. Nine months worth. You may be confused, Sev, but in just looking at this letter, you've proven that you still care and since you have, I must request a favor. If something happens to either James or myself, I would like you to… it'd be in both of your best interests to… oh, this was surely much easier to think than write. Um, let me start at the very beginning, that'd be a good place to start, right? _

_ So, hello, Sev, how are you? Doing okay? Still living in the cottage? Still dreaming of working Dark Arts at Hogwarts? Still serving Voldemort? Well, pleasantries aside, I do have business to attend to. Or rather _we_ have business to attend to. Oh, Sev, it's been so long I hardly know what to say. Well, I know what to say; I just don't know how to say it. Hopefully, you've heard word of my recent delivery. If you haven't, um, I've recently given birth to a young boy. His name is Harry. We always loved that name, didn't we, Sev? Harry is only a few weeks but he's already a strikingly handsome young lad with a strong resemblance to his father. And for that, I must say I'm very grateful as he can always remind me of what could have been. I know my tone may seem kind of… odd, but it does fit the subject of this letter efficiently. I speak the way I do for this will not be easy to hear, nor easy for me to write. I'd much rather tell you in person but the thought of seeing you right now scares me beyond belief. Sev, what I'm about to say may be hard for you to accept but every word I speak is true. Please, for my sake, just… just hear me out._

_ Nearly two years ago, a year and ten months ago to be exact, I had a rather large upset with James. I went to a ball with a friend of mine and while there, I ran into you. You seemed rather surprised to see me but that melted away and together we shared a lovely evening. I still remember the day quite fondly, you spilled this butterbeer all down my gown and we had to go buy me a new dress, but the accidents of the time aren't my focus either. Our old childhood friendship was reborn over the following months but deep down I knew it was not going to stay simply a friendship. As you and I grew closer, James and I grew further apart to the point where we stopped speaking all together. You were very happy about that. You and I had quite a strong relationship going on when finally we took our relationship up to a level I had yet to achieve. And before you ask, Sev, re-read the previous sentence, do stop smiling, I'm sure it looks creepy. I read your mind, didn't I? It just proves how close we were, eh? Now, if my instincts are correct, you're wondering why you remember none of this and I'm sure you're going to be pretty angry when I tell you. You don't remember simply because I would not let you. I could not let you. You have to understand why I did it, Sev. You have to! If you hate me for it, oh, I don't know what I'll do. Oh, no, I'm rambling, you must think I'm a Dumbledore, now. Let me just finish my story then, well, it's not a story, but in a sense it is, it's a nonfiction story about what happened and I must return to it. The morning after we were together, I noticed why you always wore sweaters. You were hiding your dark mark._

_ Once I noticed it, my mind immediately went back to when James had insisted you were a Death Eater. I wondered if the others things he had said were true and I went to find him. I forgave him that day but I told him I needed time to think. I did but I didn't exactly get my time. Instead, I got a proposal, from you. Don't get me wrong, I was the happiest girl in the world when you asked and when that beauty touched my skin, I swear, I never wanted to remove it. But I did. And I did it within the next month. Before I enter the last segment of my tale, I'd like to say that the ring is with this. I never got rid of it. In fact, I wore it as a necklace until the day I married James. Which was, five months after we split up. Now, it is with a heavy heart that I tell you of the month after your proposal._

_ Nothing big happened at first, we were just the same as always and you were definitely acting like you were floating on a cloud, I remember you even suggested inviting my sister to the wedding, even though you hated her with every fiber in your being, simply because you wanted me to be happy. Three weeks after you proposed, I was feeling kind of sick and I was getting calls nearly everyday from James trying to talk to me. I couldn't take it and I knew I had to end it with you then. It wasn't like I wanted to, I loved you both, but with James, I believed I had a future and I had myself convinced that with James everything would be much easier. Plus, I heard the penalty for working against old Voldy was a quick _Avada Kedvra_. When we broke up, there was a huge argument. And in the end, you had a broken dish to match our set of broken hearts. A week later, I found out I was pregnant. I would have been ecstatic had I not heard it from James, who simply assumed it was his. James seemed very happy, and I knew I couldn't tell him and I certainly knew I couldn't tell you. I didn't want him to wonder at all about my faith to him, so, I always changed the subject whenever the time we were apart was brought up. I couldn't tell him I had been with you, Sev, because I was sure he wouldn't take it well. My only hope was for him to never speak to you but as a precautionary measure, I went to your house and used a combination of a memory charm, a penseive, and this one potion I copied from your old school book to erase your memory of the time we spent together. It worked a little too well though and it seemed you completely forgot that you at least were hospitable towards me. We had another huge argument, you and I, and I'm sure this one you remember. I then walked out of your home, and life, for good. If you doubt I'm telling the truth, you simply need to use the pretty little key that is in this envelope (if I remembered to put it there) and open the box. Inside of it, you will find a pink liquid, drink it, and then simply look into the penseive. I'm not sure of the lasting effects of the pink potion but eventually, you'll see it all, the fights, the laughs, the passionate kisses, the mind-blowing… you get the idea._

_ Finally, I reach the climax in my letter. The one point in this letter where it will all make sense. The rambling, the odd moments, the thing itself, you'll get it that is if you don't already. A few weeks ago, or longer than that if I didn't work up the courage to send this, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, as mentioned earlier. My son, Harry, is not now, nor has he ever been or will be, the son of James Alexander Potter. His true father, the man who's blood runs through his veins everyday and always will, is not James. The world will know him as Harry Potter but you will know the truth. His actual name is Harold Vernon Snape, and… you're his father, Sev._

"WHAT!!!!!!!!"

_ I'm sure you just screamed because if I was you, I'd scream too but this isn't time to scream or time to freak out, or maybe it is but still, Sev, I need you to watch Harry for me. If anything ever happens, I need you to keep track of him. I know you may not want to but it'd mean so much to me and it'd be good for Harry, too, to know his father. I bet you two would get along well… or maybe not but either way I need you to do it. His godfather, bless his heart, is Sirius. Now, don't you dare roll your eyes or scoff because I chose Sirius for a reason. Sirius may be an immature oddball who certainly is enough of a troublemaker in his respects without the added help of James but he is still responsible in his own way. The second something happens to James or myself contact Sirius, he should help you and you can take care of Harry. This may be a lot to swallow right now but I must ask it. I'm afraid of something happening, so, just promise me you'll watch our son, please. Oh, I must stop, Harry is screaming and he's probably hungry. Just consider it, Sev._

_ Forever yours,_

_ Lily_

His eyes lingered on the end of the letter just a bit longer before he laid it down and picked up the key. He walked back over to the box and lifted it into his lap. Slipping the key into the tiny lock, Snape prayed with all his might that it wasn't what he thought and that the box was nothing more than a trap that would explode and simply make everything in his home invisible or turn him into some odd ferret just anything but what it was supposed to be.

'_Click_'

The second that sound was heard, the box sprung open and a table came up out of nowhere like magic. On the table came a silver basin that had his name engraved onto it, another piece of paper with instructions and a test tube rack holding three different beakers with potions. There was a pink one, a black one, and a green one. The pink potion, he already knew, was the memory potion. The black and green ones were the mystery. He looked at the instruction page and noticed the black one was for blood relation testing and that the green one was to be taken only in case of dire emergency. Crossing out the use of both the black and green for the moment, he gazed at the pink vial intently. It was the moment of truth. Now, did he take it and test the facts or did he walk away and let her go forever?

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**Author's Ending Notes:** There it was, people. What I've been working on nearly all of November thus far. It's not much but it's something… right? Well, whether you liked it or not, I do believe you should tell me. I don't care if you hate it, I'd just like to know what you're thinking. Unless of course you're thinking absolutely nothing and your mind is blank, in which case I'd like you to say something that doesn't sound like it came from a donkey's rearend but hey whatever works for you.

On a lighter and slightly less disturbingly pathetic note, I have to mention that I have a few notes for you guys. Now, I don't know how many of you are like me, but with me, if I'm reading a story and things are a bit unclear I kind of lose it or start to wonder like crazy what the hell the author was doing when writing this, so, if you're not as odd as me you'll just have to skip the following section and review now.

Okay, so, the timeline for this story is simple. All of the events up to book number four are set in stone and have already happened. This right here is more of what would have happened during _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_ had Snape been Harry's father and realized such during this time.

_HP5_ started on August 2nd and coincidentally, that was the same day that our lovely professor and main character received the mysterious package. It took quite a while for him to actually open it but in the meantime the events of chapters one through eight were going on. When the package was opened, it was August 12th, the day of Harry's hearing in court. So, yeah…

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**Start Date:** November 2nd, 2007; Sometime before four PM

**End Date:** November 16th, 2007; But not updated until late November


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